Uneasiness

The word in the title is used to describe an uncomfortable feeling.

Why am I writing this article?

Well, I’m writing this article to cope up with the same feeling.

Recently I have started experiencing an uneasiness. I do not know for sure why is it so, but if I try too hard to describe it in words, it comes out something like this:

• It is a feeling that I’m not in the right place at the right time.
• A feeling that time is no longer my friend.
• A feeling of a loss (which I do not know what)

And the amazing thing about it is that this feeling is no alien to me. I’ve experienced it many times before, and perhaps that’s why I’m able to explain it in words (however hard it is, the words are still there). But this time I do not know the actual cause. And it is driving me crazy.

I no longer sleep at nights the way I use to, I’m not drinking enough water, not taking care of the temple that I used to.

And it is not that I don’t want to, it is just that time is not by my side.

I’m looking for an escape from this world for a little while. Like going into the Himalayas in peace.

There is a train of thoughts running in my mind which I cannot stop.

Yeah… I do meditate, it stops for a while, I feel good but then again it starts like a slowly blossoming flower. In my case, it is not a flower, it is a thorn that is hurting me, making me sad.

Maybe my inner-self is trying to speak something that I’m not able to translate. Or maybe, this time, my inner-self is himself confused.

Things around me are changing very fast. Things that I cannot control and maybe that is what is making me feel powerless and thus I have a feeling of uneasiness. And perhaps that is the reason I do not have any answers. Because I do not really know how to stop it from changing. It is something not in my control.

Wow. that explains the cause of this uneasiness.

And now that I think of it, well, that is the reason.

In fact, a lot of things are changing very fast around me except me. Now all I need to do is to find the solution to keep myself stable. Bring my self back to normal.

Maybe changing myself with the surrounding will help me.

Well, I don’t know how to cope up with this feeling yet but since now I know the cause, I can look for the right solution.

Thanks to myself.